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:)

I’m so glad nobody reads this. You can just close it now.

Try this.

Corn is one of my new favorite pizza toppings. It adds a nice sweetness and that little bit of moisture pizza usually lacks which normally makes you reach for a drink.

Boredom.

Bad thoughts and feelings often originate from boredom. Boredom is already a slightly negative feeling. When we’re bored we have to find something to do or start planning something, otherwise we’ll end up thinking deeply and because we’re not doing anything we enjoy, negative ideas may pop up and it’s easier to get stuck in these thoughts than enjoy life and be happy. Being bored when there is nothing to do is also much different than just doing nothing and being content with it. Being intensely bored and unmotivated is often the beginning of depressive thoughts which can be easily avoided when you occupy yourself with things and then you experience again the beauty and interest in everything life has to offer. Even cleaning dishes.

Dream

There was a horrible piercing sound known as the worst song in the world. The sound literally felt like every horrible depressive emotion felt all put together as well as a horrible physical pain. At one point my eyes were slightly open, everything was super dark ad twisted literally morphing in swirls and scary. The song was caused by thoughts as is Everything. The horrible sound comes from the "wrong" thoughts being explored, when the proper mainstream general simplified basic thinking was employed the music would start to head towards something more likable and emotions would ease up, but then thoughts would go towards the obscure and the music would get worse again. I asked whoever was playing this terrible music and they said they werent, it was just my thoughts. I could barely control it and it was terrible, but even though I knew that avoiding the obscure thinking would remove the pain I still kept going back to it and hearing this horrible sound. As if this were the price to pay for thinking in different ways, sometimes all that comes is unbearable negativity. It is best to keep thoughts on concrete things in the real world instead of intense philosophical content. The actual thought processes were presented in a kind of stringy pattern representation which I can't even begin to explain other than fractals in word form rather than shapes. Free flowing thoughts guide the mind.

I wish there was someone who could understand. This was so motherfucking scary and it relates so much to my everyday life, I know exactly where it comes from. I also woke up with a headache and intense fear, all the feelings stuck so strong for a moment when I woke. Three more hours to go, hopefully I can get back to sleep. Also interesting is that I was pretty worried before I went to sleep, and then got extremely calm. I listened to rollerdisco before I slept and it sounded as if it was sped up which made me question if my thoughts had gotten slower. In a daze I took the earphones out before sleeping. 

Everything happens for a reason and it all makes sense. I just don't know what to do about it. At least the sun is beginning to rise, the sky is a beautiful blue to dark orange gradient and there is hope for happiness or at least contentment in the future.

Where is the universe? It is everything but it has to be somewhere, unless it is the definition of somewhere. What if there is a the universe inside every atom? Our entire existence could be inside a tiny little molecule somewhere and then there are an infinite amount of universes within eachother in everything.

Thinking of something to think about is thinking about something. It could not be considered thinking of nothing, but is actually thinking on a pretty deep level, because it is removing yourself from your thought stream and trying to relate to and control it, in a distanced consciousness. Looking from the outside in, trying to do something and distracting yourself from your true self by putting up a barrier or filter. When you think about yourself thinking it is almost as if you are in a 3rd person view of your own mind.

Little kids get an intense amount of enjoyment out of things they have fun doing. Everything is so new to them. While eating ice cream it may be one of their first one or two ever, and just imagine how exciting that is. Now you’ve probably had ice cream a hundred times, and that next one may not be something quite as special as the first few when you were a child, even if it is really good. Riding a bike for the first time is new and interesting, and an activity like this, unless it brings itself out as a real hobby and something you enjoy specially through your lifetime, may lose its initial intensity within a few years. When one is young the world is so new and everything is just incredible and waiting to be discovered. As we age and learn we often find out a lot of negative information about nearly anything, that we simply didn’t understand, know, or care about when we were little, and all these built up in the back of our minds, combined with the notion that not everything is as new and unknown as it once was, is part of the reason adults are not as cheerful and giddy as younger children. When we are young and curious we tend to be in a mode where we discover everything as something new and interesting, and people forgetting to constantly rediscover the world around them are bound to get bored. Kids have an unsurpassable amount of happiness most of the time when doing things and it’s important for us to do our best to truly enjoy everything we experience throughout our lives. Look at everything as if it is something new and you’ll find you have a lot to learn. Don’t take things too seriously, jokes effect degrees of discovery as well.

Human beings walk on two feet and can process information taken in through the senses while walking or running, getting a kind of scrolling view of the world. This is natural. But the view one perceives from a moving vehicle, train, airplane, etc. is something we have created. The paths of said train or plane might relate more closely to what a bird might see flying through a place which wouldnt be accessible to a human walking (high elevations and fast speeds, etc.) so when we look out the window of some manmade transportation we are getting a supernatural view of the world unlike one which would be accessible through simple nature such as standing on a cliff or running through a forest. It is interesting to think of how this might affect our brains as we use our unnatural technology to see various degrees of stimulus which is not naturally available to us. The same can be said much more intensely for watching films.

Positive

Thinking reinforces reality. Think positively, feel good. Think negatively, feel bad. Surround yourself with good vibes and open minded people, you will enjoy everything more. Trust your instincts and do what feels right. Whatever you think is what your mind believes and determines what actually happens because the strongest thing in your life is your own mind, that’s what everything is after all. Think somethings wrong and you’ll keep noticing how wrong things are. Think everything is fine and it’ll all be fine, at least in your own head. Find a proper balance because reality is only what you make of everything.

Notes

You must not alienate the world from yourself but immerse yourself in all it has to offer.

Don’t let other’s perceptions of people influence your own attitude towards any individual. See things for yourself.

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